Good morning everyone
Time for a little update of sorts. I intended to write yesterday but I was feeling too down and depressed. The way I feel these days is scaring me. I have been so happy and energetic the last few months and it was all only seem to be going in an upward line too. Now I only feel like I’m falling more and more each day. I feel sad, scared, lonely and empty. I have very little energy, nor motivation, to do anything. By the end of the day I am so tired and frustrated that I just lie in bed and cry, until the boy comes home and comforts me. Well, what am I going to do then when he’s gone? He says I will feel better, I fear I will feel even worse. I never knew I could feel this heart-broken…
I did manage to drag myself to a Bikram yoga class the day before yesterday though. I almost went on a crazy shopping spree, like I used to do when I felt bad. I already had my shoes and jacket on, card ready to splurge, when my online friends voices came through, that I would feel so much better after a Bikram class. So, instead I sat in the sun for a bit and then went off to Bikram yoga. It’s a wonder I made it seeing how low I felt. If I feel low I certainly don’t enjoy the idea of trying something new and challenging because my self esteem is pretty much non-existant. But of course, the class was great, the experience was amazing, and I felt like a million bucks after.
I am fascinated by this pose, so graceful, yet strong.
This class made me realize how much I love practising Yoga and I’ve decided to start practising both Bikram and Ashtanga on a weekly basis. The class went really well but I’m writing a gues post about it so you’l have to wait a bit longer for the details .
I completely forgot to mention how the ‘green challenge’ went! I bought 100% organic for a week and it gave me that last boost I needed to buy organic from now on. The only thing I don’t buy organic are frozen fruit and some of my bananas, nuts and avocados. This is because a) I go through tons of each every week and b) convenience. I often find myself out of bananas/nuts/avocados and they have ‘em two steps away from my front door, at the market, as opposed to a 15 minute bike ride to the health food store. And my health food store hardly carries any frozen fruit, something I can’t live without. It feels SO great to buy pretty much all of my food organic! Plus, I am replacing all my detergent and soaps wth organic ones as well. Feels like the right thing to do after replacing all my grooming products not too long ago.
The boy has been off of the dairy for some weeks now (with some minor incidences here and there), something I am really proud of. I helped him find good substitutes for the dairy products he was eating and that helped. He now uses the nut milks I make for his oatmeal and on bread he’ll eat either sunflower tomato spread from the health food store or one of my homemade nut butters. Come to think of it, he’s been eating pretty much vegan for some time now. But that’ll never be something he strives for, although he does enjoy eating less/little meat. His skin looks really good at the moment, which could indicate the dairy was causing outbreaks, but maybe it’s too soon to tell.
I have the day off today so I’ll try and relax a little to regain some energy – mentally mostly. I’ve been drinking a lot of juices these days. Food doesn’t excite me much right now which feels really sad. I did make/eat some stuff that’s worth showing though
Lotsa recovery puddings for the boy and me, he’s addicted
I ate my oat bran again for the first time since a looong time. Didn’t taste as good to me now. Have come to love my new & raw breakfasts .
Plus a cool new recipe, adapted from Almond Cream:
After a night of soaking, rinse and drain cashews. Place in blender with 1 cup water, the probiotic powder (simply open the capsules), lemon juice & agave. Blend on high speed for quite some time (especially when you don’t have a high speed blender). Done!
This cashew cream has a really good yogurt consistency; smooth and fluid, whereas the almond cream is thicker, more like quark.
Note: if you don’t have a high speed blender you might want to let the yogurt ferment a bit by placing it in a warm spot for some hours and then refridgerate before eating.
I’m already looking forward to the organic farmers market tomorrow, a tradition I have come to love over the last few weeks.
Enjoy your day all!